Coming Out: Slutty

Being slutty is an identity for me, it’s probably my main sexual identity. More than pan, more than queer, more than kinky or perverted, and especially more than polyamorous or non-monogamous. And I’m now embracing my sluttiness in the least slut-shamed way that it has yet been possible for me to embrace this identity. Since […]

Coming Out: Pansexual

As an “alternative” presenting, slutty woman, I don’t often feel like I have to come out as being into women. In some spaces, it’s always something that’s assumed about me. But even as it’s assumed, it is denied. As I got to this point while writing this piece, I struggled for a long time to […]


” How many partners do you actually have? ” My friend asked as we walked comfortably through the white streets of the medieval city, sunlight glinting off the cobblestones and into our squinting eyes. ” What does that question even mean? ” I evaded.Glad to not have to make eye contact. It’s not that I […]

Man-Hating Men

” You don’t understand what it’s like to be a man, to feel entitled to women’s bodies. You don’t understand what it’s like because you’re not a man. I am. ” ” Most of the violence that happens in this world is committed by men, especially young men. Whether it’s aggression towards women and children […]

One Night Stands

I love one-night stands. I love the moments building up to it: the chase, the teasing, the games of eye contact, the electricity, the thrill of flirtation. I love the moments of decision when you reach that fork in the road, where either the night ends. You go home, rub one out to dispel the […]

My First Sexual Assault

The first time that I remember being sexually assaulted was in the dark, in the quiet, in the safety of my parents’ home, surrounded by my friends. When the guy lying on the floor next to me at a sleepover unexpectedly reached over and tried to feel, through my pajama pants, the place between my […]

Reclaiming the Word Slut

I have a difficult relationship with the words slut, whore, ho, hooker, skank, tramp, bimbo, easy, cheap, promiscuous, . . . I feel like I should be able to remember more synonyms for that term. Given that there was a time when I would use my nails and permanent markers to write, scratch these words […]

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