Fear & Anxiety in a Pandemic

Fear and anxiety are different. It's hard to tell apart fear from anxiety right now. But I know that fear and anxiety are supposed to be different. These days, fear and anxiety often feel the same because my anxiety has been blaring up in over-drive for months since this pandemic hit,sometimes sending my body into [...]

Thank You for Respecting Your Boundaries

It's one scripted response that I was suggested to use when someone turns down my ask for sexual contact, "Thanks for taking care of your boundaries." It makes it clear that other people are distinct from us and may not share the same limits and desires as we have. That we aren't entitled to others' [...]

Tolerating Non-Monogamy

We had been fighting about my non-monogamy. Because, although he lived with me and nightly shared my bed, he did not share my non-monogamous convictions. He tolerated the fact that non-monogamy was an important part of my life. He tolerated my right to autonomy and self-determination. But he did not celebrate it. We argued loudly [...]

Violence is Masculine

In our society,Men have a monopoly on violence. This is something that I learned recently.And that I wanna that say I learned it the hard way. . . But given that my face hasn't been smashed in with a glass, nor my teeth knocked out with a fist (as I was threatened would happen). . [...]

Masturbation Anxieties

I've been lying in that middle space between asleep and awake for the last hours. My bedroom wall going from dark blue, to grey dawn, to golden yellow, and on to white. My fantasies and dreams intermingling, my anxieties occasionally circling. Hips thrusting slowly, rhythmically. Clit responding to the pressure of my crossed legs. Fingers [...]

Coming Out: Slutty

Being slutty is an identity for me, it's probably my main sexual identity. More than pan, more than queer, more than kinky or perverted, and especially more than polyamorous or non-monogamous. And I'm now embracing my sluttiness in the least slut-shamed way that it has yet been possible for me to embrace this identity. Since [...]

Coming Out: Pansexual

As an "alternative" presenting, slutty woman, I don't often feel like I have to come out as being into women. In some spaces, it's always something that's assumed about me. But even as it's assumed, it is denied. As I got to this point while writing this piece, I struggled for a long time to [...]


" How many partners do you actually have? " My friend asked as we walked comfortably through the white streets of the medieval city, sunlight glinting off the cobblestones and into our squinting eyes. " What does that question even mean? " I evaded.Glad to not have to make eye contact. It's not that I [...]

Man-Hating Men

" You don't understand what it's like to be a man, to feel entitled to women's bodies. You don't understand what it's like because you're not a man. I am. " " Most of the violence that happens in this world is committed by men, especially young men. Whether it's aggression towards women and children [...]

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